Once a week I go swimming with my
son, we have been going to the local swimming pool for 25 years and we have a
great time laughing and messing about between our average ten lengths of
swimming. Swimming is from 12 -1pm but
we are usually late and get about forty minutes, minus the time chatting to
people we bump into (not physically) in the water, people we haven't seen in
years. Now both my son and I are deaf
and not once has there been a complaint about the amount of noise we make as we
cannot swim wearing out hearing aids, at most people come to see what is so
funny and at least they just smile as they swim past us.
Now then, on the other hand I have
been working in my current job for three years (wearing my hearing aids) and
not once in all this time has any member of staff had cause to tell me that I
am speaking a bit too loud, or so I thought, there I am merrily working away
with all the candidates having a bit of a chat and greeting them at reception
taking ID and details without a murmur from customers or colleagues. Then WHAM!! During my one to one with my Manager
she told me that she has noticed that the busier we get, the louder I get and asked
me “How are we going to address this?” I
was mortified and feeling under pressure I said that I would ask my colleagues
to tell me if I get too loud. Well this
didn't go down so well in practice as it did in theory and I ended up very
unhappy and distressed. My confidence
evaporated and I every time I started to talk to a customer I was so conscious
of not raising my voice that I stopped being chatty and friendly. My husband and my son wanted to speak to my Manager
about it but I said no. I would deal with it and I looked up some disability in
the work place organisations and support groups and my husband spoke with his
company's union rep and with all the information I gathered I wrote an email
asking my Manager to arrange a meeting for her, the Regional Manager and
myself. The Regional Manager said he
would not come unless my Manager could not resolve whatever issues I had. Anyway, surprise, surprise it was my
colleagues complaining that had caused my Manager to speak to me. She told me that my colleagues didn't want to
upset me by saying anything. I was
appalled to hear this because I actually asked some of them if they found me to
get too loud and after hesitating they had all said not at all…………..
I couldn't believe it; by not saying
something they have caused more upset than by doing the decent thing and having
a quiet word with me. To cap it all, not
only have my colleagues also stopped working with me on the reception desk, by
finding some online training or other 'jobs' to do that keep them away from the
reception area while I am there. I let my Manager know that I am keeping a
diary of things happening at work that don’t seem right to me.
I am also very aware of the
camaraderie between the other staff, I can see thmm on my cameras, grouped
together talking and I can hear their voices as they talk and laugh and I feel
isolated and excluded. I have been told about a night out that is being
arranged but I haven't been invited which tells me they are probable too
embarrassed to be seen (heard) with me.
I did think I was being a bit paranoid but not anymore, not now that I
have confirmation of the complaint about my loudness.
During my meeting with my Manager she
mentioned the fact that on my annual self-assessment I have reported that I
have never had a risk assessment in three years and she has arranged for me to
have one later this month. I am waiting
for this meeting to find out why there hasn't been any Deaf Awareness training
as this could have pinpointed issues such as my volume when in a loud
environment and how to deal with it. I
think it is too little too late as my colleagues have already 'weighed,
measured and found me wanting'. Finally,
my Manager asked me why I was not at the Christmas Meal and I told her "I
didn't come because I am not part of the team". The Manager wasn't happy and tried to tell me
that I am part of the team but I know I never will be because the
"team" has badly damaged my self-confidence and I will never be able
to feel like one of them. Meanwhile, I
shall wait and see what the outcome of this sorry business is and keep my head
down while I do my job to the best of my ability.
